Alice. Your introduction doesn't make much sense, it is very jumbled and fails to answer the question directly. You must explain why it failed to make its money back at the box office rather than simply that it didn't.
The whole essay has a slightly disjointed feel, try and make each paragraph about a specific reason why the film 'failed'.
For example
Point 1. The film lacked A list star appeal Point 2. The film lacked mainstream appeal due to the subject matter and classification. Point 3. The release pattern meant 3D screening dominated. Point 4. Its similarity to The Raid.
Alice. Your introduction doesn't make much sense, it is very jumbled and fails to answer the question directly. You must explain why it failed to make its money back at the box office rather than simply that it didn't.
ReplyDeleteThe whole essay has a slightly disjointed feel, try and make each paragraph about a specific reason why the film 'failed'.
For example
Point 1. The film lacked A list star appeal
Point 2. The film lacked mainstream appeal due to the subject matter and classification.
Point 3. The release pattern meant 3D screening dominated.
Point 4. Its similarity to The Raid.